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In any professional or personal environment, you’re bound to encounter challenging individuals. Whether it’s a domineering personality or a passive one, dealing with difficult people is part of life.
James and VirtualDOO’s Lloyd Thompson have certainly encountered their share of hard-to-deal-with characters. And because it’s so common, they’ve made it the topic of their latest podcast episode together.
Here they break down six common types of difficult people, and how best to handle them.
If you’re looking for strategies to handle difficult people at work, understand communication techniques, or improve your active listening skills, read on.
Table of contents:
1. The Tank
2. How to handle the Tank
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a. Stay calm
b. Active listening
c. Match their style
3. The Sniper
4. How to handle the Sniper
5. The Nothing Person
6. How to Handle the Nothing Person
7. The No Person
8. How to Handle the No Person
9. The Whiner
10. How to Handle the Whiner
11. The Yes Person
12. How to Handle the Yes Person
13. Communication techniques for dealing with difficult people
14. Final Thoughts
1. The Tank
The Tank is an aggressive, confrontational individual who dominates conversations and decisions. Often short and sharp in communication, Tanks don’t necessarily aim to be aggressive, but their strong-willed nature can come off that way.
How to handle the Tank:
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Stay calm: The first step in dealing with a Tank is to control your emotions. Lloyd recommends you take a breath and avoid reacting impulsively.
Active listening: Take a leaf out of the book, Nonviolent Communication. Reflect back what you’re hearing to the Tank, which shows them that they’re being understood.
Match their style: Tanks appreciate direct and concise communication. If they’re being blunt, respond in the same manner, keeping your responses brief and to the point.
2. The Sniper
Snipers hide in the background and take cheap shots through snide remarks or offhand comments. They don’t want full attention; they just want to disrupt or throw people off balance.
How to handle the Sniper:
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Call them out respectfully: Ask them to clarify their comment, exposing their hidden criticisms.
Defuse the situation: Let them know you’re open to discussing their concerns afterward. This deflates their attempts to undermine the situation without confrontation.
The Nothing Person
This individual offers no feedback or input. They sit passively in meetings or discussions, contributing little, making it hard to gauge their opinions.
How to handle the Nothing Person:
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Ask open-ended questions:
Encourage them to share by asking thoughtful, non-threatening questions. Be patient and give them time to respond.
Create alternative feedback methods: Sometimes Nothing People are introverted or uncomfortable speaking in group settings. Offer them the option to provide feedback via messages or written notes.
4. The No Person
No People shoot down ideas and halt momentum with their negativity. They are often skeptical and resist change, preventing forward movement in discussions and projects.
How to handle the No Person:
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Acknowledge their perspective: Use active listening to ensure their opinion is heard. Repeat back what they’ve said to validate their concerns.
Involve them early: Get them involved in the problem-solving process from the start, which may help them feel more invested and reduce their resistance.
5. The Whiner
Whiners focus on the negative, constantly complaining about everything. They often feel overwhelmed or dissatisfied but rarely take action to resolve their issues.
How to handle the Whiner:
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Shift the focus: Before they can complain, ask them to share something they’re grateful for. This can break the negative cycle.
Encourage solutions: When they present a problem, coach them to come up with at least three solutions. By shifting the responsibility back to them, you encourage action rather than constant complaining.
6. The Yes Person
Yes People overcommit and agree to everything, often failing to deliver on promises. Their over-agreement is typically driven by a desire to avoid conflict or please everyone.
How to handle the Yes Person:
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Set realistic expectations: Help them analyze their workload and see if their commitments are feasible. Encourage honesty about their capacity.
Challenge their agreements: Test their agreements with tough or ridiculous suggestions to teach them the value of saying no when necessary.
Communication techniques for dealing with difficult people
Whether you’re dealing with a Tank, a Whiner, or a No Person, there are some universal communication techniques that can help:
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Active listening: This is the foundation of managing difficult conversations. Reflecting back what someone says lets them feel heard and reduces tension.
Nonviolent communication: By avoiding inflammatory language and staying neutral, you can prevent escalating a conflict.
Clarification: When confronted by sarcasm or snide comments, ask for clarification to bring hidden issues to light without being confrontational.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with difficult people, whether at work or in everyday life, calls for patience, communication skills, and a good understanding of different personality types. By recognizing these behaviors and using techniques like active listening and clear communication, you can manage these interactions more effectively.
Remember, challenging behavior is often a reflection of the individual’s internal struggles, so approach these situations with empathy while maintaining your boundaries.
For a fuller discussion and personal anecdotes from our two experts, tune in to Episode 1093 of the podcast.
Scale effortlessly while doing more of what you love – VirtualDOO.com
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