What would you do if you were fearless? Come on now. Don’t be afraid here. Take action. You’d be like, on fire, right? You wouldn’t sit and think about it over and over again, checking in and making sure that everything is right and perfect before you take a step. You’d trust your gut, you’d trust yourself.
How many people get stuck in decision making sometimes? Like, “I don’t… should I?” Number one question I get from people is, “What’s the difference between fear and intuition, Rhonda? What’s the fear? How do I know if it’s fear talking, or intuition talking?” We can talk about that, too.
So, my work, my mental model. Because neuroscience says, neuroscience, now it says that you can change your beliefs and your actions and your thoughts and your feelings. You can do all that. But neuroscience now says that the only way to truly change your life is by changing your filtering system. Okay? So I’m going to say that again, it’s really important. You can change your feelings, your thoughts, your belief systems, etc. But in order to truly transform your life, you must change your filtering system. And what’s a filtering system? The eyes in which you see the filter between you and life.
So each of us has a personalized, unique, unique, what I call wheel of fear. And we also have a personalized, unique wheel of freedom. So in some areas of your life, the wheel of fear is your filter. And some areas of your life, your wheel of freedom is your filter. The problem is, most of us don’t even know what those are. And we get confused.
So what I’ve done is I’ve created a model of what a wheel of fear is, and I’ve created a model of what is freedom, so that you can decide which one to follow. So today I’m going to briefly show you the wheel of fear. I’m just going to, we don’t have time to go through it today because it’s a process. Because your wheel of fear wants to pick your wheel of fear. You know your wheel of fear wants to pick your wheel of fear. So if you tell me right now that “Rhonda, I know what my fear is, I know what it is.” Trust me, you’re wrong. Because your wheel of fear does not care if it’s rejected or failure or stupid or successful. People say to me, “Rhonda, Rhonda Rhonda, well, I have a fear of success.” No, there’s no such thing. It’s called fear of responsibility. If you have a fear of success, you really have a fear of responsibility. So what you think you’re afraid of, maybe you were called stupid your whole life or lazy your whole life. Trust me, that is not what you’re afraid of. That is not it.
So let’s briefly talk about the wheel of fear. I’m going to do this super quick, so you can just understand it. And then I also have something called the wheel of freedom, that is obviously the cure for the wheel of fear. But I just want to quickly, like super quick, go through this, and then I want to move into an exercise that’s going to support you in taking action today. Because I want you to have something when you walk out of here, something you can do, right?
And I don’t know if you have this in Australia – where I grew up in Minnesota, in upper United States, we have something called righty tighty, lefty loosey. Anybody got that? Yeah. Okay, so the wheel of fear is righty tighty. When you start the wheel of fear, it starts getting a grip on you and tightens up. The wheel of freedom is lefty loosey. So number one, you have a trigger. Now a lot of people think like, Rhonda, I have lots of triggers. No, you actually only have one core trigger. And all the things you think are your problems are just fear responses. So procrastination is a fear response. Perfectionism is a fear response. Guilt is a fear response. overwhelm is a fear response. It is the symptom of your trigger. It is not the problem.
I was talking to my Uber driver yesterday and I was telling him, he was like, “Rhonda, tell me, I want to understand the wheel of fear.” And I said, “Well, list your top 10 challenges you have. Procrastination, perfectionism, overwhelm, you just name your top 10.” When you start understanding the trigger of fear responses, the third is core negative feeling, and last is self-destructive. And I’ll show you mine so you can see how it works. The minute you can identify this, one-third of your problems disappear in an instant. Like, you will never do it again. Ever. something you’ve been doing for twenty, thirty, forty years, literally goes away in an instant.
Another 30 percent takes a few days because you’re practicing. And then another 30 percent, 20 percent take a few weeks and stuff, because you’re trying to figure out how to apply it to that tougher area. But imagine if a third of your problems disappeared overnight. I mean, just really think about that. One third literally disappeared because you understand what your wheel of fear is.
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